As someone who recently surrendered to need for a 9 to 5 for financial reasons and is consequently blaming it for my lack of consistent writing, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Incredibly helpful advice. I will be printing this article (using my office printer, ha!) and referencing it on days I feel stuck.
Absolutely….it so often isn’t the one thing…it’s all the things. All the itty bitty things that fill up the moments and suck the energy right out of you. And the perceptions we have placed on ‘being worthy’. Thanks for another good read Sonal!
I love all of this so much! Such brilliant, human, empathetic, and practical advice. So much productivity advice comes from people who are either neurotypical, or are probably not neurotypical but actually atypical in their ability to crank things out. This on the other hand is advice we can actually use, and feel better about ourselves along the way. Thank you!
So glad to catch up on this, Sonal. I always enjoy your tone + smart advice + a few LOLs (thanks for the dopamine hit - yay). After our MFA, five of us formed a monthly workshop group, which has been critical. Two of us submit pages every other month, so there's time in between to revise or start something new. I started another similar group w/ 3 other women from our program (not my cohort). If I didn't have these monthly deadlines, I would not be writing, period. The only time of day that really works for me is at o-dark-thirty. Even with all that, instead of writing, it's too easy just to watch late night shows on YouTube or play the NYT word games or read on Substack. It's so hard to keep that momentum -- too many distractions.
There are a lot of good thoughts in your response, Sonal. I'd like to highlight a few things. None of them are writing hints. To me it feels like Questioner has a hole to climb out of.
It sounds like Questioner needs to re-assess their priorities and ask if the world will go on in an OK state (no need to be perfect) if some things just don't get done. It's hard to say just what things those would be without a long convo, but Questioner sounds a bit overwhelmed. Is there a spouse/significant other/close friend who can help with home stuff, things like that. Are the kids old enough to start making their own meals? Etc.
Pursuing an activity that is neither a chore nor writing may be a big help. Exercise works for me, it can clear the mind and gives a dopamine hit. One needs to pick something they enjoy though, exercise just for the sake of exercise becomes another boring chore.
As for the soul-sucking day job, what I have observed over the years is that some people in that boat either are not well-matched to the job requirements or have a conflict with the specific business culture they are in. Can Questioner imagine adequately-paying employment that is not soul-sucking? Maybe not, but it needs to be asked. Questioner's strong dislike of their job may be dragging them down both at work and at home, and hence there is no creative energy left for writing.
I don't have a soul sucking day job, but when I need to force myself, I pick small goals. I will write a couple poems, or 500 words. And I try to do it as often as possible. And the writing slowly starts to add up!
Excellent advice, Sonal. Even as a middle-aged dude with no kids and a non-corporate full-time job, the struggle was oh so relatable. I do find today’s world to be more challenging, with social media and the ability to distract oneself with everything streaming. Attention requires intention. Meditation and yoga helped me see the importance of having a clear intention (I do it daily.).
I see writing as a practice. Like playing an instrument. If I do a little bit every day, I get better, I can access the words faster, and I find I don’t need as much time to reach my writing goals. I also put post-its on my computer, little kind messages to myself that I can’t help but reread when the doubts and critical voices start to get loud.
Lastly, writing is much more than pen to paper. Driving to work? Instead of listening to NPR or music, babble into your notes app. Ideas will come. The creative juices will flow, and will seep into the rest of your day, bringing little bursts of inspiration that you can quickly add to your Notes app (or wherever). I am constantly saying “Siri, start new note in Notes App” and then writing or speaking some random bit that may end up being unusable, but that keeps the spark alive. It’s possible to use technology as a tool to help us rather than distract us.
As someone who recently surrendered to need for a 9 to 5 for financial reasons and is consequently blaming it for my lack of consistent writing, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Incredibly helpful advice. I will be printing this article (using my office printer, ha!) and referencing it on days I feel stuck.
Absolutely….it so often isn’t the one thing…it’s all the things. All the itty bitty things that fill up the moments and suck the energy right out of you. And the perceptions we have placed on ‘being worthy’. Thanks for another good read Sonal!
I love all of this so much! Such brilliant, human, empathetic, and practical advice. So much productivity advice comes from people who are either neurotypical, or are probably not neurotypical but actually atypical in their ability to crank things out. This on the other hand is advice we can actually use, and feel better about ourselves along the way. Thank you!
So glad to catch up on this, Sonal. I always enjoy your tone + smart advice + a few LOLs (thanks for the dopamine hit - yay). After our MFA, five of us formed a monthly workshop group, which has been critical. Two of us submit pages every other month, so there's time in between to revise or start something new. I started another similar group w/ 3 other women from our program (not my cohort). If I didn't have these monthly deadlines, I would not be writing, period. The only time of day that really works for me is at o-dark-thirty. Even with all that, instead of writing, it's too easy just to watch late night shows on YouTube or play the NYT word games or read on Substack. It's so hard to keep that momentum -- too many distractions.
..."there are few rewards that I have to wait for that can outweigh the pleasure of immediately goofing off"...you ate the marshmellow, didn't you? :)
👏 This is everything! Was nodding along the whole way. Another great piece of writing advice (and I'm realllllly picky about writing advice lol)
There are a lot of good thoughts in your response, Sonal. I'd like to highlight a few things. None of them are writing hints. To me it feels like Questioner has a hole to climb out of.
It sounds like Questioner needs to re-assess their priorities and ask if the world will go on in an OK state (no need to be perfect) if some things just don't get done. It's hard to say just what things those would be without a long convo, but Questioner sounds a bit overwhelmed. Is there a spouse/significant other/close friend who can help with home stuff, things like that. Are the kids old enough to start making their own meals? Etc.
Pursuing an activity that is neither a chore nor writing may be a big help. Exercise works for me, it can clear the mind and gives a dopamine hit. One needs to pick something they enjoy though, exercise just for the sake of exercise becomes another boring chore.
As for the soul-sucking day job, what I have observed over the years is that some people in that boat either are not well-matched to the job requirements or have a conflict with the specific business culture they are in. Can Questioner imagine adequately-paying employment that is not soul-sucking? Maybe not, but it needs to be asked. Questioner's strong dislike of their job may be dragging them down both at work and at home, and hence there is no creative energy left for writing.
I don't have a soul sucking day job, but when I need to force myself, I pick small goals. I will write a couple poems, or 500 words. And I try to do it as often as possible. And the writing slowly starts to add up!
Excellent advice, Sonal. Even as a middle-aged dude with no kids and a non-corporate full-time job, the struggle was oh so relatable. I do find today’s world to be more challenging, with social media and the ability to distract oneself with everything streaming. Attention requires intention. Meditation and yoga helped me see the importance of having a clear intention (I do it daily.).
I see writing as a practice. Like playing an instrument. If I do a little bit every day, I get better, I can access the words faster, and I find I don’t need as much time to reach my writing goals. I also put post-its on my computer, little kind messages to myself that I can’t help but reread when the doubts and critical voices start to get loud.
Lastly, writing is much more than pen to paper. Driving to work? Instead of listening to NPR or music, babble into your notes app. Ideas will come. The creative juices will flow, and will seep into the rest of your day, bringing little bursts of inspiration that you can quickly add to your Notes app (or wherever). I am constantly saying “Siri, start new note in Notes App” and then writing or speaking some random bit that may end up being unusable, but that keeps the spark alive. It’s possible to use technology as a tool to help us rather than distract us.
While she may be blessed in some ways, Liz Gilbert is in no way neurotypical. She's sometimes way too positive and sunny, and I can't deal with that.